Starting with a Wei Wu soldier

Chapter 232 Wan'er's Heart

The tense and busy atmosphere at the Flying Tiger Pass camp and the tranquil and desolate atmosphere at the Phoenix Palace in Chang'an, though separated by thousands of mountains and rivers, present different scenes under the same bright moon.

On the west side of the Southern Expeditionary Camp, there was a slightly secluded but well-maintained independent courtyard, which served as Lin Wan'er's office and temporary residence in her capacity as "Hanlin Attendant" and "Southern Expeditionary Camp Advisor." Unlike Lan Fenghuang's "Hundred Herbs Cottage," which was filled with the fragrance of herbs and bustling with people, this place was much more tranquil. Several stalks of green bamboo were planted in the courtyard, and a water tank with a few koi carp was placed in the corner, giving it a touch of the elegance of a Jiangnan garden, clearly arranged especially for her.

As midnight approached, the swaying bamboo shadows were cast upon the windowpanes covered with plain white paper. Inside, a solitary lamp still burned, casting Lin Wan'er's slender figure, bent over her desk and writing furiously, onto the wall.

On the desk lay a stack of documents of varying heights: letters from various counties and prefectures in Jiangnan awaiting review; proclamations urging the people to be appeased and pacified, requiring her polishing or drafting; summaries of confidential reports from the Censorate regarding the latest developments within the Allied Forces; and several preliminary proposals she was drafting concerning the post-war pacification of Jiangnan's literati and the reconstruction of its culture. The scent of ink and the unique aroma of paper mingled, permeating the slightly chilly air.

Lin Wan'er put down her pen, rubbed her slightly sore eyes, and let out a soft sigh. Since following His Majesty, she had been immersed in this almost daily routine, dealing with a vast amount of paperwork and confidential matters. The diligence she used her brain and the depth of her thoughts far surpassed when she used to compose poems, paint, and critique figures in her boudoir. However, her spirit had never been as fulfilled and uplifted as it was now.

Initially, her offerings of maps and strategies stemmed more from gratitude, a desire to utilize her talents, and a touch of curiosity about this legendary emperor. She saw a vibrant and orderly regime, completely different from the corrupt Southern Dynasty, and the possibility of ending the chaos and restoring peace. His Majesty's exceptional appointment of her filled her with gratitude and secretly resolved to do everything in her power.

However, as time went by, in the close contact with the emperor and his advisors, the initial gratitude and loyalty to the wise ruler were quietly infiltrated by more complex emotions.

She saw his sharp gaze and decisive decisions during military council meetings, displaying the charisma of a great ruler; she also saw his instantly serious expression and almost inaudible sigh when reviewing reports of casualties at the front, revealing his true nature as a benevolent monarch.

She saw his extraordinary composure, his ability to overcome cunning with force, and his wisdom in defeating people when faced with the strange methods and provocations of the Miao holy maiden Lan Fenghuang; she also saw his astonishing wisdom, as vast as the sea and as insightful as a keen eye, when he was identifying poisons at the Listening Spring Terrace.

She also noticed a fleeting, profound longing and tenderness in his eyes when he occasionally glanced northwards towards Chang'an during breaks from his busy schedule. At that moment, he was no longer the high and mighty emperor, but simply an ordinary man who cared for his wife.

These various aspects intertwine to create an incredibly real, vivid, and captivating Chen Xing. He is not merely the Star Emperor who sits atop the throne and commands the world's admiration, but also a man of flesh and blood, with a sense of responsibility and tenderness, possessing both great talent and personal charisma.

Lin Wan'er came from a scholarly family in Jiangnan and was well-versed in poetry and literature from a young age, possessing extremely high aspirations. Ordinary men, even princes and noblemen of the Southern Dynasty, were mostly seen as mediocre or superficial in her eyes, unable to truly capture her heart. However, Chen Xing seemed to embody all her vague fantasies about the ideal man. He fulfilled all her expectations of a "hero" and a "wise ruler," and through their daily interactions, he revealed a deeper and more moving inner self to her.

This feeling was initially just a subtle ripple in her heart, something she herself hadn't even clearly understood. But during her trip to Miao territory, when she saw Lan Fenghuang, such a lively and mysterious woman with extraordinary skills, following His Majesty with such fervent eyes, even subtly revealing her admiration, Lin Wan'er suddenly realized what this growing feeling in her heart, surpassing the admiration a subject has for his monarch, truly was.

She was not unaware that His Majesty already had Empress Murong Mingyue, and that their deep affection was known throughout the country. Consort Su Xiaoxiao had also entered the palace. Her own feelings were perhaps destined to be nothing but a mirage, and might even invite criticism and disaster. Reason told her that she should bury these feelings deep within, adhere to her duties as a subject, and focus on the opportunity to achieve merit and establish herself in the present.

But... if love could be so easily controlled by reason, then why have there been so many lovesick men and women throughout history?

Whenever His Majesty summoned her, listening to his deep, magnetic voice as he gave instructions, and feeling his occasional glances filled with trust and appreciation, her heart would involuntarily quicken. When the night was still and she was alone with the lamp, dealing with documents intimately connected to him, what flowed from her pen seemed to be more than just cold, hard government decrees; it also carried a hidden, sweet feeling of sharing his burdens.

She began to pay more attention to her appearance. Although she was still dressed as a civil official, her hair was styled more neatly, and her official robes were kept as clean and crisp as possible. She would pay attention to what kind of tea His Majesty liked to drink and what kind of incense he preferred. Even when drafting documents, she would unconsciously consider the wording, hoping to make his reading experience smoother and more comfortable.

She knew that she might never be able to express her feelings. Although His Majesty appreciated and valued her, he always maintained the proper distance and decorum between ruler and subject, and his words and actions never overstepped the bounds. His care for her stemmed more from consideration for a capable subordinate, such as ordering the provision of charcoal, bestowing warm clothing upon her, and reminding her not to overwork herself.

However, it was precisely this restrained and respectful attitude that made Lin Wan'er fall even deeper in love. The more radiant and impeccable he was, the harder it was for her to suppress her admiration and the quietly growing affection in her heart.

Just like now, after reviewing the last document, she carefully blew away the ink and tidied her desk. Her gaze fell on the uniquely shaped celadon brush washer that His Majesty had bestowed upon her the other day. Her fingertips gently brushed across the cool porcelain surface, and a bittersweet melancholy welled up in her heart.

"Your Majesty must still be discussing military affairs with Minister Jia and Lord Chen, right? I wonder if you've forgotten to have your midnight snack again..." she murmured to herself, then shook her head self-deprecatingly, suppressing this untimely concern.

She got up, walked to the window, and pushed open half of it. The cool night breeze, carrying the unique dampness of Jiangnan, rushed in, dispelling some of the stuffiness in the room and clearing her feverish mind.

Looking up at the night sky, countless stars twinkle and the crescent moon hangs like a hook.

"Lin Wan'er, oh Lin Wan'er," she said to herself, "to have gained His Majesty's trust and be entrusted with important matters is already an extraordinary stroke of luck. I should devote my utmost loyalty and wisdom to helping His Majesty pacify Jiangnan as soon as possible, to repay the kindness shown to me. As for anything else... I cannot think about it, I should not think about it, and I need not think about it."

However, when her gaze returned to the brightly lit main tent in the center of the camp, a place that symbolized imperial power and the core of wisdom, a hidden string in her heart was gently plucked.